Facebook — face it. You are going out with the millennials. Good thing you have instagram because dang, you keep missing the mark.
In case you didn’t get it the first, second and third time you tried to get us to make a dating profile on there, let us say it again: We do not want to date on facebook.
Facebook is where we live in the comfort of our small business entrepreneurial glory — boosting posts for our homemade soy candles on Etsy and inviting our entire high school from the class of 2003 to comment on our political opinions. We’re trying to be respectable adults and share somewhat fake news articles that follow our confirmation bias. We’re pretending like we’re always grateful for our uh-amazing lives and all babies are cute. We’re asking for recommendations on stain resistant furniture and recipes for gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan keto lasagna. Our whole intimate, messed up, contrarian lives are on facebook. We don’t let new romance in here. Dating would feel like letting our parents’ work friends watch us prance around drunk in our underwear with our married friends’ kids around. Stop it. Gross.
Sure, some apps use facebook to find friends of friends. We’re cool with that. Good idea. We don’t know them. They can’t see us. In fact, that’s kind of clever. Use facebook as the social network it provides but don’t pop our comfort bubbles.
Why is this so clear to me and so blurry to the facebook marketing team? It’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what online dating is and how it functions with our ego and social circles.
Dating apps serve a very important function for the practicing online dater – they allow us to separate our new and precarious dating adventures from the rest of our lives. Having a separate space lowers the stakes immensely. It’s a beneficial line in the sand for both parties. Dating, uniquely, combines our most vulnerable selves with our sexy hormones. Not everyone gets to be a part of that and we need the privacy to take risks and become this flirtatious version of ourselves.
Can you imagine your workplace inviting you to a special singles lounge every day and everyone knowing you’re in there, making googly eyes with Ricardo in accounting? Or being at a concert surrounded by your whole family and friends… and then all the singles in your area? What a nightmare. Facebook, seriously, what are you thinking?
Singles and those seeking new connections, especially of the millennial generation, do not want to meet strangers on facebook purposefully. Accidentally? Sure, whatever. We’ve all heard that story or had an experience where we connected with someone through a comment thread or searched someone for the ever decreasing “single” status in someone’s “about” info. But actively pursuing dates is a totally different objective. That, we should leave to the experts.
So, please, facebook, quit asking me if I want to make a dating profile. It’s creepy.
What’s next, Linkedin dating? Oh, wait. The League has that covered.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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The post Why Does Facebook Keep Trying To Get In the Dating Game? appeared first on The Good Men Project.