Tom looks across the dinner table at his wife of twenty years.
He’s eating the same breaded chicken and mashed potatoes that he’s eaten once a week for the last god knows how many years. Maybe he should offer to cook once in a while? Tom knows something needs to change in his marriage.
Some words are exchanged. His wife does most of the talking. Tom notices how little he cares about what she has to say.
In the moment, he wonders…
Is this it? Is this the rest of my life?
He puts down his fork. He’s lost his appetite. He takes a breath and tries to keep his cool.
He doesn’t want to cause any problems. But lately, anything can set off his wife.
“What’s wrong, honey?” she says.
“Nothing,” he says. “Just tired from a long day at work.”
Things have flatlined. He hasn’t had sex in six months. The thrill is gone.
He’s scared. He has no idea what can change.
Do you ever wonder…
Will I die at this dinner table with this woman?
Let’s face it, relationships are hard stuff, especially marriage.
It takes work to keep things rich and engaging. And especially during the last year, with COVID, and being cooped up inside our homes.
The days of “you marry, you work, and you die” are over for most men. It’s absolutely reasonable for a man to want more from his marriage than the everyday mundane.
Do you feel functional in your marriage?
If you’ve been married for many years, then you know how easy it is for things to get monotonous and functional in married life.
And yet, is it possible that you fell asleep at the steering wheel of your marriage?
Maybe at some point, you made a compromise to be around for your wife and your family instead of pursuing your passions.
Do you even know what lights you up anymore?
If so, that’s a major problem.
Chances are in your twenties and thirties you had passions, things that lit you up. Like skiing, racquetball, biking, writing, playing music. What happened?
Did you create an unspoken marital agreement that says I’ll bury my passions, so I can be around for my wife and kids?
Maybe your wife or family don’t enjoy the things you do. Or maybe you just need some alone time to refuel every now and then.
What stops you from going after what you need for you?
A lot of men make an unspoken sacrifice to stay married.
They subdue their wants and needs. They bury their passions. They think that’s the right thing to do for their partner.
And yet inside they’ve lost who they are.
Have you lost who you are in your marriage?
Discover if that is true for you, and how to regain yourself, with a message straight from the ski slopes of Aspen Snowmass in the video below.
To keep the thrill alive in a long term marriage, you need to:
Spend time together and apart, knowing distance creates desire.
Cultivate your passions, even if it takes you away from your family.
Take risks with your wife, knowing death by monotony is not an option.
Are you willing to mix it up to create a better you for a better marriage?
Previously Published on stuartmotola.com