Confession: I am a hopeless romantic. Always have been, always will be — and, honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My girlfriend is a hopeless romantic, too.
We enjoy Hallmark movies, moonlight walks and being that annoying cute couple who can’t keep their hands off of each other in public. Ugh, I know, right?! 😁
There is just something almost magical about being hopelessly in love.
What about you? Are you a hopeless romantic? If not, there no reason why you can’t become one or find one to endlessly adore you.
That’s one of the great things about hopeless romantics — they love to love.
Not sure if you or your partner are hopeless romantics? Looking for your soulmate or twin flame?
No worries! That’s exactly why I wrote this article. These are the 7 habits of hopelessly romantic partners.
1. They are intensely focused
When you spend time with a hopelessly romantic person, you feel like the most important person in the room. One hundred percent of their attention is concentrated on you alone.
“Listening is about being present, not just about being quiet.” — Krista Tippett
Last night, I spent time with my girlfriend at her house. We’re chatting away about one thing or another. Even though her adorable five-year-old is randomly dancing three free away and her youngest son is playing the piano in the same room, she’s totally honed in on me.
Contrast that feeling with being around someone who is constantly distracted, glancing at their phone, or peeking over your shoulder. It’s a night and day difference.
A study by Janet Reibstein in the Sexual and Marital Therapy journal highlights the importance of intense focus for romance.
The study suggests that happy couples require “frequent intervals of undivided attention.”
If you are a hopeless romantic or come into contact with one, you know it. They often give great, occasionally intense, eye contact. You instinctively recognize that they are listening intently.
You know that there is nothing else on their mind but you, right there at that moment.
2. They get swept up in passionate emotions
Hopelessly romantic people burst with passion for the things and people they love. Everywhere they go, they radiate joy.
“I’m a hopeless romantic and passionate person when it comes to love.”– Jennifer Lopez
Being with a hopeless romantic feels like being in a wonderful whirlwind. It’s kind of intoxicating, like being drunk on a person.
They don’t let sparks die out because they endlessly create new sparks.
My girlfriend and I can regularly be spotted dancing outside together, bursting with laughter, and hugging for long enough to make our kids go “Ewwww” (but secretly enjoying that their parents are happy in love).
Hopeless romantics sometime get a bad reputation for being “too emotional”. However, a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reported that hopeless romantics experienced greater satisfaction and commitment.
3. They believe in true love
No matter how many relationships crash and burn around them, hopeless romantics never give up on finding their true love story.
Popular movies and books regularly feature hopeless romantics that believe in love:
- In Twilight, Edward (the sparkly vampire) pursued Bella Swan (the human), despite being an immortal and knowing the eventual emotional train wreck.
- In 50 First Dates, Adam Sandler’s character won’t give up on winning the heart of Drew Barrymore’s character even though she suffers from chronic memory loss.
- In About Last Night, the entire cast — including Kevin Hart and Regina Hall — refuses to give up on love despite “real life” getting in the way.
After my divorce two years ago, I all but gave up on love. I seriously considered no more long-term relationships. Ha! Yeah, right.
Apparently, God, Mother Nature, and the Universe were laughing hysterically at me.
Despite all my past failed relationships, I opened myself up to love again. I love being in love with my girlfriend.
“We believe in love, and the hopeless kind is simply magical.” — Dr. Debra A. Nixon, Licensed Family Therapist
A hopeless romantic’s belief in love is unbreakable. They can’t be, and won’t be, deterred from embracing the fantasy of a fairy tale relationship. Others might see them as people with their heads in the clouds.
And, yes, they are often labeled as unrealistic for their high expectations for romance in relationships.
However, hopeless romantics don’t care what other people think. They go right on believing in the beauty of a romance right out of a Hallmark movie.
4. They fall in love fast
Hopeless romantics tend to experience intense feelings quickly. Sometimes more quickly than others around them.
This is especially true of men, according to a study in the Journal of Social Psychology.
Just because hopeless romantics fall in love fast doesn’t mean that their love is not as deep and real as people who love slow. They simply don’t know how to hold back their affection, and they don’t really want to either.
There are no timelines on true love. My girlfriend and I said “I love you” to each other at the highest point in Nashville, TN a few months into our relationship.
We are head-over-heels in love with each other. When you find your person, you just know.
A hopeless romantic’s love washes over you in titillating tidal waves of devotion. It may come on fast, but it also has staying power.
5. They are generous givers
If one thing is true of hopeless romantics, it is that they are consummate givers. They are generous with their time, attention, affection, and often with material gifts, big or small, to show their undying love.
“I’m a hopeless romantic, and very much the person in a relationship to go: If things are going well, I’ll buy the flowers, remember the dates of things, plan fun nights out.” — Jennifer Love Hewitt
In my relationship, my girlfriend and I constantly give to each other. We sit on the same side of booths at restaurants because we both crave affection (yeah, we are THAT couple 😄). We each reach for the bill at the end of dinner. We surprise each other with small gifts all the time.
We take each other out for “surprise” dates, where only one of us knows where we are going and what we are doing.
This past Christmas, I surprised her with a custom song made just for her. You can read the backstory and listen to the song in this article.
6. They celebrate the small things
Hopeless romantics love to celebrate. They celebrate the smaller milestones in a relationship, such as the first month anniversary, leaving a toothbrush over the other person’s house, or the first overnight trip together.
They also love to celebrate the bigger milestones, like year anniversaries, moving in together, and meeting each other’s family.
Celebrating is in their DNA.
My girlfriend and I celebrate every small win in each other’s lives. When she completes a big project at work, I am the first to tell her how proud I am of her. When she reaches a running goal, I cheer. When I get a writing project or one of my articles does well, she’s my biggest supporter.
Hopeless romantics believe in having fun and making memories out of almost any experience. Nothing is too small for them to celebrate.
And nothing brings them joy like celebrating the moments, memories, and people in their lives.
7. They create unforgettable experiences
One thing is for sure: hopeless romantics are masters at making any experience unforgettable.
They might rent out an entire movie theater or show up in a limo. They might plan an entire night of your favorite activities or give you a long foot-massage and read you poetry while you enjoy Pinot in a warm bubble bath.
Then again, you might be swept away to the airport for an impromptu mini-vacation to the beach or to Paris (a person can dream).
It’s not about lavish expenditures, it’s about creative planning and thoughtfulness. The experience can also be spontaneous.
Earlier this year, my girlfriend and I danced under twinkling lights on an elevated walkway overlooking the Ohio River. Her impromptu idea. During our trip to Nashville last year, I surprised her with a side trip to go swimming at the foot of a waterfall.
The key is that it’s memorable, personal, and magical.
Whether planned or spontaneously decided, each experience is sure to be incredible. Hopeless romantics know how to elevate any event to almost cinematic proportions.
They love that gleam in your eye that tells them that you’re never going to forget this moment.
If you are a hopeless romantic — or are dating one — then you probably can relate to all of these habits. If you are a hopeless romantic looking for your soulmate, don’t despair — your one true love is out there waiting for you to find them.
Don’t let anyone or anything sway you from your commitment to love.
If you are lucky enough to be in a relationship with a hopeless romantic, enjoy the experience of a lifetime.
Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.
— Henry Van Dyke
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Author via Canva ( Christopher Kokoski )