Don’t go placing an ad or anything. If you don’t have a female friend, then you don’t, but you are all the worse for it. Plus, seeking one out for the, shall we say, more selfish upsides is to pour the lousiest of foundations.
No good relationship can truly flourish if the reason it began in the first place is tied to ulterior motives. Keep all “friends with benefits”—past, present, or otherwise—out of this. Here’s why having a good friend of the opposite sex is important, from the obvious to the not-so-obvious.
You will absolutely, positively respect women more if one of your besties happens to be one. It will be palpable; women can smell a man who respects women as a spy can danger.
That female friend who laughs at the same jokes your flatulent male makes and even lets out her own (jokes I mean).
Who finds your screw-ups amusing, as opposed to reasons to lecture you (although a lecture may eventually come).
Who can “hang” just like one of your boys, yet you’re acutely aware she isn’t one (i.e., you’re protective, a bit more conscious of your manners, not a total frat boy).
Who makes you a better person 24/7, and neither of you are usually even aware of it.
She’s the sister you never had or, if you do have one, simply “like a sister.”
Oh man, the intel. You’ve got a tried-and-true member of the opposite sex, who actually thinks you’re a decent human being—maybe even a catch—and who can tell you why the girl you’re after is doing what she’s doing, thinking what she’s thinking, acting the way she’s acting.
We all have a guy friend who attempts to do this, but this is a flesh and blood woman telling you why women sometimes do some of the things they do and, what’s more, how to navigate the seas.
The guy who is seen around town hanging with female friends, laughing raucously, tackling some karaoke, pulling pranks yet opening the door for them, too?
Homeboy is halfway home. Sure, the less secure will suspect said female friend is either a gal you’ve yet to discover you actually do have feelings for (an immediate hurdle that you must jump just as immediately) or someone she’ll have to be OK’d by.
Fact is, dating that guy who’s got a very, very good friend who is female isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do. But, when you’re an adult, comfortable in your own skin, not easily threatened, and so on and so forth, handling all of this should ultimately be as difficult as selecting a bottle of wine for a table of six.
One of my best friends from middle school through high school was a gal, and, for the life of me, I don’t even know how it happened.
But us being so tight got me the green light to pop into slumber parties for years where nine of her friends were often clad in pajamas and at their most playful, plus it sent a message to everyone at the private school she ultimately attended that I had to be a halfway decent guy. She became a living, breathing key to the kingdom.
Whether it’s clothes for yourself or that precious first gift for a girl you just began dating, who comes in more handy than your female friend? It sure ain’t your mother!
Yes, this can result in you being laughed at, either when you emerge from a dressing room in a misbegotten shirt you actually thought was stylish or when you suggest gold-plated butterfly earrings as the perfect six-month-anniversary gift.
But, get over the embarrassment of it all. She’ll inevitably share this stuff with anyone and everyone for years, but she’s providing a priceless service. Interestingly, “personal shoppers” actually do this for a living these days.
Sure, some guys are good listeners, have hearts of gold, and are always up for their boy getting real, sharing what he’s feeling, maybe even losing it midway through, getting emotional.
Some. But that female friend is where you can truly let your guard down, be vulnerable as shit, spill the beans about some major stuff that may be happening at home or just in your head.
They do confidante better; it’s that simple. Plus, they’ll hold you afterward. I guess your buddy can, too, but it just won’t be remotely as comforting.
7.Trying Out Material
Obviously, the possibility exists that your female friend “is too close” to be impartial or stopped viewing you as male so long ago (if ever at all) that bouncing ideas, come-ons, pick-up lines, and the like will never produce legit results. But it just might, too.
Say you’ve been telling her about a girl at the gym, and the eye contact exchanging that’s been going on, and that you’re ready to strike up a conversation. You’ve been work-shopping two to three different opening lines in your head.
Bounce them off that female friend. Worst case scenario is that you only come away certain which one not to go with, and that’s still something.
Your female friend will ID promising potential in a woman you’d otherwise not consider. Female friends most times know their male friends better than they know themselves, or at least they get there first.
Chances are she’ll bring up someone out of nowhere one night as “perfect for you,” and you’ll scoff at the mere suggestion. Then after a minute or so of awkward silence, you’ll no doubt say, “Ya think?” Why?
Because you trust her and her instincts and, deep down, you know that she knows what you’re truly really looking for because she’s been paying attention all along.
No, this is not a superhero movie in the pre-development stages as we speak, although it does sound promising. A female friend can occupy the friend of a woman you’re after like none of your guy pals ever could.
They’ll immediately begin either mocking other people at the bar, complimenting each other’s styles, or talking about you.
Plus, the friend of the woman you’ve set your sights on probably won’t have her guard up as your friend chats her up like she would if it was a drunken male friend of yours.
Ah, those dreaded plus-ones. While a wedding can be a fantastic place to meet a woman, sometimes you’re just not looking to do that. Enter the female friend, who is happy to play arm-candy whenever necessary.
There are also work engagements, galas, charity events… basically a plethora of scenarios where having a “date,” as opposed to a stuffed mushroom-popping, champagne-swilling Artie Lange-lookalike with you just won’t do.